My Name Is
by SickLove02
Summary: Andy Biersack cheated on his one true love, how does he deal with the pain of loosing her? Trying to take his own life. M for language and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

_**Prologue. **_

_**Andy's P.O.V **_

"I need an ambulance!"Ashley screamed into the phone, as he slammed down his fist onto the freshly red stained tile beside my head.

Those three words, I hate you. Those are the three words and made me do this, lying here almost dead from the pain of seeing her cry. The razor blade still visible, but I could only make out the sharp edge that pierced my skin not 25 times in 5 minutes. It was the only way; I couldn't live after having done what I did. It was my only escape to let what I did, go.

The tears from those crystal blue eyes, making their way down her face, I couldn't bear to think about it anymore. This had to end, now.

The last thing I remember was the oxygen mask going down over my face as Ashley sat next to me in the ambulance and then, it was all black.

(Okay, so first story, rate and comment? :D )


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 1_

_Andy's P.O.V_

"Andy, how could you? Aft….After what we have been through?" Meagan spoke swiftly,"I hate you, you cheating bastard!"

"Meagan! I can expl-"She cut me off.

"How in the hell can you explain cheating on me with my best friend? Oh, that's right; you can't because there is no fucking excuse for it! I don't care if you were drunk, or high! Even when drunk you always have that gut feeling! You know the bad thing Andy?" She chuckled," You weren't drunk, or high. You just couldn't keep it in your pants."

That hurt. It felt like I was being run over by an 18-Wheeler, then falling off a cliff, and finally being ass raped by a shark.

"Meagan... I'm sorry. I know sorry is just a word but that's all I can say.I know that word means nothing to you and it never may mean a thing to you, but I have to know you'll be okay without me." That's all I could choke out, because I knew I was wrong. I didn't know how to tell her.

"Yeah, I'll be much better off without a cheating horn dog bastard, that can't keep it in his pants."Meagan was in complete sob mode, eye liner rolling down her cheek along with the many, many heated tears. " Andy, I….I….I don't get it, I told you I wanted to wait, I told you she was horny all the damn time. Andy I told you she would do anything to get into your pants for one night. I told you."

This was all true, she did tell me. I didn't know what came over me, I hadn't had sex in months and all she did was tease me. Victoria was the only one who offered, and I couldn't help it.

"Meagan, it wasn't even good. You have to hear me out, here. You have to understand, that it had been months and you're nothing but a fucking tease! All we did was have some very heated make out sessions. Please, just let me know that no matter where you go, you will always remember this." I jumped for it.

I grabbed and kissed her passionately before she could process what was happening. She pushed me off and screamed.

"Andy! I can't believe you did that, I don't want to know what you did with Victoria and your lips. Just fuck off. Leave me alone." Meagan spat those words in my face like hot grease.

"You're in my house though….." I fell to my knees," Just go, please…"

"Good bye, I hope you and that whore have a good life together."

That's what did it. I couldn't breathe as she slammed the door and pulled away in her car. That's when I decided to do it. It had to be done. It had to be.

I got up to my knees and pulled the blade from the kitchen drawer, pulled off my jacket and the first cut. Stands for the first kiss I shared with Victoria. The second cut, stands for pulling Victoria's shirt off. The third stands for when she pushed me down and pulled my jacket off. Fourth, fifth, sixth, all the way up to twenty-five. This had to be done; it had to show how many times I hurt Meagan, the love of my life now soon ending life.

I heard footsteps, and I just lay there, in a pool of my warm blood. Ashley stopped dead in his tracks pulled out his phone and called 911.

"I need an ambulance!"Ashley screamed into the phone, as he slammed down his fist onto the freshly red stained tile beside my head.

Those three words, I hate you. Those are the three words and made me do this, lying here almost dead from the pain of seeing her cry. The razor blade still visible, but I could only make out the sharp edge that pierced my skin not 25 times in 5 minutes. It was the only way; I couldn't live after having done what I did. It was my only escape to let what I did, go.

The tears from those crystal blue eyes, making their way down her face, I couldn't bear to think about it anymore. This had to end, now.

The last thing I remember was the oxygen mask going down over my face as Ashley sat next to me in the ambulance and then, it was all black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

_**Andy's P.O.V**_

I awoke to a bright white light in my face, a buzzing noise in the background. As my eyes adjusted, I figured out where I was. In a hospital, this had become familiar after the two trips because of my crazy stage antics. My head was throbbing with pain, my wrists covered in bloody gauze, and I was gasping for air.

My head was foggy when I saw a single dead white rose on the bed side table with a card that read "You deserved every single slice you cut. Good luck with recovery, bastard." The handwriting was none other than Meagan's.

That's when it all came flooding back, the sex, well the bad sex, the fight, the tears, and the blood. I jerked my arms up, having to reach her.

"Meagan. Meagan. MEAGAN!" I screeched as the images of her pushed their way into my head. Her half hazelnut brown hair with pink on the other side, her crystal blue eyes, her perfect lips, her adorable smile, and her magical ability to make me melt. Her being about a foot shorter than me was so adorable even though she hated it. I loved picking her up just to kiss her.

I ripped the IV from my arm as I thrashed violently, trying to reach the imaginary images floating around the room. She looked back at me as she ran out of the door. My body did what was normal, I got up and ran, my rear end flashing the whole hallway as I darted around the corners. The imaginary image disappeared as I fell to my knees screaming in pain. The morphine had worn off and my un-healed wrists began to bleed through the gauze. I lay there, crying in pain, thinking of her face as she found out.

The nurse had to carry me back to my room, hook me back up to the morphine and strap me down before I passed out from exhaustion.

_**~ About 4 Hours Later~**_

"Why wasn't I there earlier? Why? I could have stopped you from doing this. All of this. The cutting, the freaking out, all of it. I feel like it's my fault." Ashley said to my barely conscious body," Andy, if you're awake hear me out, she called to make sure you were okay. She wanted to know what happened, and she sent that rose because she didn't know any other way to say she hopes you're okay."

I shook my head ever so slightly, but he saw it. "Ash...Ashley," I groaned through the pain," is...Is Meagan ok...okay?"

"Andy…Uh… She's… With Mason." Ashley whispered in a hushed tone.

My eyes flung open like the girls fling themselves at me on tour. My entire body jumped, well tried to jump up, but I realized that I was restrained down to the bed. Mason? Her best friend? That was 4 years older than her? She's 18, he's 22. She told me she would never have feelings for him, what happened? Oh, I know. Me. No, this had to be nothing but a rebound.

"Ashley, are you sure?"

"Yes, sorry dude, but you did chea-"

"Don't. Even. I have to get out of here. Help me dude."

"Let me go get the nurse."

"No Ashley don't. They will tell me I can't leave because I'm not mentally stable or some shit like that. Please help me."

Ashley shook his head," I can't. You could get hurt worse. The rest of the winter tour is canceled. Andy this is going to be all over the media. Just recover for a few days. Please."

I shook my head, "No. Ashley, please understand why I have to do this. Please."

"Look Andy, none of us wanted this to happen, but you have to recover. You have too." Ashley pleaded, but yet he released the restrains.

"Where are my clothes?"

"I think they are in that black duffel bag, but Andy listen I don't think you should go s-." I cut him off.

"NO! I have to see this for myself!" Those words came out like hot fire.

"Fine, go. But once you see her don't do anything I wouldn't do. Oh wait you already have."

I had only sort of heard what Ashley was yelling from the hospital room. I turned a corner and asked a nurse where I could find my cell phone, "Sir, your recovery is not yet finished, please, follow me back to your bed and we can get your pho-"

"Where is my phone? Now." I couldn't wait. "I'm in a rush, please. I will come back if I feel any worse."

"Sir, your phone is at the front desk; tell them Nurse Samantha released you to go see your mom in another hospital."

"Thank you, so much." I said as I broke out into a sprint to the front desk, "Andrew Biersack, I need my phone, Nurse Samantha released me to go see my mother in another hospital."

The front desk lady handed me my iPhone and I ran out of the door. I had to see her. I just had to. There's no way she could be with Mason, just no way. I can't believe this. No I won't believe this. Not until I see it. I was rounding the corner on Meagan's street. I walked slowly to her house and opened the door.

_**Meagan's P.O.V **_

"Mason, I… I just don't get it. He told me he loved me. He told me so many times. We were together for 3 years, almost 4. I told her Victoria was a slut, I told him everything, he knows all my secrets, he even knows how I wet the bed 6 months ago when I woke up from a nightmare." I cried into his shoulder.

"I know baby, I know." Mason said pulling me closer.

Mason has been my best friend since I was 6, we met at the park, he was 10. We started as play mates and things never escalated until Andy cheated on me. Mason has had feelings for me since the day he laid eyes on me at the mall in my favorite ripped skinny's and BOTDF shirt. I was never sure about my feelings for him until now. Now they were for certain. I just wish I could get Andy out of my mind.

"Mason, I love you. I know it's only been 2 days, but I have known you since I was 6, I know for certain that I love you." I pulled away from his shoulder and being a short gal like myself I had to stand on my tippy toes just to kiss him. We stood there making out until I heard a door open.

Mason pulled away and stood there," What was that baby?"

I looked over his shoulder and saw Andrew Dennis Biersack standing in the door way. He had no shirt on like he did the other day, his hair was in a mess, not the usual sexy mess, but now it was a hot mess. Not the good kind either. He had bloody gauze wrapped around his wrists up to his elbow. He was as white as a ghost and had a blank look in his eye.

"Andy. What in the hell are you doing here?" Mason scoffed as he let go of me.

"I wanted- No needed to know if it was true Meagan." He pushed past Mason and grabbed my hands, not letting go of my gaze, "Are you two, a…a…" He choked on the words.

"A couple? Yes, we are now if you would." Mason gestured to Andy for him to let go of my hands, I just stood there wide eyed, not letting go of his gaze.

"I just had to kiss you one last time before you never see me again." Andy pushed his lips upon mine tracing his tongue one my lips asking for entrance, I let his warm tongue in, spreading warmth all over the inside of my mouth as I kissed back. Mason pulled Andy off of me and punched him in the nose.

"Stay away from her you cheating prick." Mason spat in Andy's face.

"Mason! No!" I ran for Andy. He was on the floor now, nose bleeding, looking about unconscious. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

"You're my girl. I wasn't going to stand there."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever. Help me get him to his house." I whined as I picked Andy up and dragged him to the car.

Mason pulled himself into the driver's seat, "Where does the asshole live?"

"Down on Main Street, and he has a name. It's not asshole. Well, right now it seems like it is..." I still love him but I cannot be with him. Not until us both find out what we want.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Andy's P.O.V **_

_**(Andy's Dream) **_

"_Andy come on she won't find out. Just come on, it will be fun." Victoria breathed in my face, trying to be seductive, but her breath smelt of tooth paste and mint gum. _

"_I can't I lov-" _

"_Shhhh. She won't know Andy; besides how long has it been, 3 or 4, maybe 5 months since? Come on you know you want to." She forced her lips upon mine. _

"_Victoria! I can-"She cut me off by pushing me back onto the couch and sitting in my lap," I can't I love Meagan. I don't care if she wants to wait, I will wait for her." She pushed me back and forced her tongue into my mouth. I fought until I just gave in. The next thing I knew, she is pulling my shirt off. _

I woke up panting, a puddle of sweat surrounding me. I was in my own bed again, the gauze was stripped off and all twenty-five scares were visible. Each cut was deep, very deep. I ran my fingers over the slightly healed cuts, they were rough. Each one represented one thing I did wrong that hurt Meagan.

"_**Meagan! That's how I got here! I was at her house, and Mason punched me square in the fucking nose!" **_I thought to myself**," **_**That kiss. Those sweet few moments of heaven, she let me back in. She still loves me." **_

"She still loves me." I whispered. As I heard the door open Ashley, Jinxx, and CC walked into the room. They all looked at me like I was some two year old pre-K kid that just pissed the bed. Which, I wasn't sure if I had or not. No, I didn't still dry.

"How are you feeling bud? The slicing, and dicing, and not to mention the punch to the face." Jinxx chuckled. There was no one laughing in the room. "Well, guess not…"

I just laid there, I didn't want to speak or listen to anyone. I just wanted to lay here and die; I wish Ashley would have never found me. Well, he would have found me eventually, lying on the floor, in a puddle of my own lukewarm blood, razor blade still in my fingertips, barely holding on to reality as I would have watched my body lay there as my soul would have gotten dragged away to hell.

"How is everybody?" I looked at the ceiling as I just wanted everybody to leave.

Jinxx sighed, "Well, since the tour is canceled, I have been eating a hole in the fucking wall, seriously it's like I'm high all of the time." He bit into a piece of toast, "You see what I mean? Seriously, it's getting on my nerves."

"Then don't eat, duh." CC rolled his eyes, "Dumbass."

"Speaking of food, I'm sort of hungry." I pulled the cover off, revealing my scares; this was going to be fun covering for the next 6 months. All the guys in the room stood the gawking at my arms, "Get out, let me take a shower and I'll be down in about 45 minutes. K?"

"K." They all said at the same time as they slammed the door. It made my teeth rattle, damn I was weak.

I walked to my bathroom and pulled my clothes off, turned on the shower and stared at myself in the mirror while the water heated up.

"How many needles did they put into me?" I asked myself," Damn I look like I just rose from the dead."

I examined the scabs, and counted each one of them, 25, the higher the number rose the deeper the cuts were on both of my arms. They all felt sensitive to the light, but it was sort of a good feeling.

Steam began to fog up the mirror. So, I stepped into the shower and the hot water burned my fragile scabs. I just stood there with my face turned up and my eyes shut, the water found its way into my nose and down into my lungs. I coughed back up the water and bent over making sure all of my hair was wet. I washed my hair and conditioned it, like I normally do. I grabbed the bottle of _Old Spice_ _Swagger _off the shelf and poured in onto my arms, that was a huge mistake. It burned worse than breaking my nose hurt. Now that was pain, not to mention the time I fell off stage.

I washed the rest of my body, turned off the water and opened the shower door. The cool air hit me and my body cringed. I bit my lip as I stepped onto the tile floor and opened the cabinet to get a towel.

"Fuck." I sighed; there were no towels, so I get to run to the laundry room naked. It's not like all the dudes in the house hasn't seen my anatomy, so I opened the bathroom door and took off down the hallway to the laundry room.

"Hey guys!" I shouted as I stopped in the living room, "There were no towels so!"

CC and Jake looked up at the same time and looked away instantly, "Put some damn clothes on!" CC hid behind a pillow.

Ashley walked in behind me and dropped a bowl of milk and Froot Loops, "Dude you have a lady ass."

"You think? I have no ass." I laughed as I walked into the laundry room and came out with a towel.

"That's better." CC came out from behind the pillow, "Just another day in the life of Andy Biersack."

"Well, I am going to get dressed. Then I will come and eat." I walked back into my room and sighed," Life is going to be horrible."

I walked into my bathroom and saw a pair of scissors on the counter, "You know, time for a change."

_**Meagan's P.O.V **_

"Mason can we go do something?" I sat down in his lap with a bowl of ravioli in my hand, "Pweazzzzz?"

He smiled, "Yes, of course we can baby, do you want to go to the park or something, or we could go take a shower….?" Mason smirked.

I smiled, "You know I actually would like that." I sat down my cereal, "Carry me bitch!"

He picked me up bridal style, "Alright, but I'm not going completely uncovered." He winked.

"Oh me either, when I took a shower with Andy we weren't." I laughed as I jumped and bounded up the stairs right into the bathroom. I hopped into the shower and pulled my shirt off, keeping on my bra and track shorts.

"Keep your boxers on!" I turned the water on to a hot temperature. I stood there running my hands through my hair, next thing I know, Mason has pulled me against his bare chest and into a kiss.

"I love you." He whispered into my ear," I have since I was 14."

I wanted to say I love you back, but I couldn't it has only been a few days since I found out, "You know I want to tell you I love you back but I just can't not yet."

"You just did." He smiled as he pushed his lips on mine and asked for entrance I let his tongue in. It wasn't as great as my kiss with Andy. I loved those few moments; I hate him so much for leaving me.

_Andy, I love him so much, I wish I was with him right now, but I need to get over it and be with Mason. STOP thinking about Andy! What did I say? STOP SAYING HIS NAME! Okay, He Who Shall Not Be Named, yes that was a good name. Why am I mentally fighting with myself? STOP._

"I want you." Mason whispered into my ear as he kissed my neck.

"No, not yet Mason, please understand me."

"I understand you loud and clear baby."

_**Back to Andy's P.O.V**_

I looked at the hair in the sink, more than six inches of hair, sitting in the sink. Hair I have been growing for years. Now it was all gone. I looked up into the mirror.

"Looks good." Ashley smiled from the doorway," Andy, why did you cheat on her? It would have prevented all of this."

I shook my head," Broski, honestly I don't know. Victoria is just a whore and that sex didn't mean anything to me at all. I wish I could erase it, but maybe it was a good thing, maybe it was a message that me and Meagan need to grow as people."

"So what I'm hearing is that it was heat of the moment, huh?"

"Yeah basically, so you like my hair?" I pulled my bangs into my face I couldn't bear cutting my bangs, and smiled a big cheesy smile.

"Dude, it looks good. Like really good."

"Thanks, I like it."

"Andy, I think you should go on a date." Ashley shrugged," I mean it would help you get your mind off of all of this drama and everything."

"Maybe in a couple of days, I think I will." I smiled," I might just do that tomorrow. Toss me my cell?"

He threw my phone to me and I dialed a number. Dialing those numbers hurt me at first, I wished it was Meagan I was calling instead, "Hey Morgan. Yeah it's Andy, so I was thinking, do you want to go out tomorrow, maybe to the café down on 3rd street?... Great I'll pick you up at 4 o'clock. Alright bye."

"Someone's got a date!" Ashley smiled," Dude you got all them bitches knocking down your door."

I rolled my eyes and logged onto Twitter, I was amazed at how many people tweeted to me.

_Andy why was the tour canceled? I was so ready to hear you._

_Andrew, I wish you a happy recovery, I heard about you tripping over a cord and getting a concussion. _

_I love you! Hope you get better! _

That's what they told them? I have a concussion? Great. Another lie in my life.

I got tired after three of this so I tweeted,"_Hey guys, sorry about the tour. I have a concussion and I wasn't able to perform. Love you all. You guys rock." _

I locked my phone screen and walked down stairs to the kitchen, " CC order pizza?" He looked up from his phone and his jaw dropped, "What happened to your hair?"

"Like I told Ashley, it was time for a change, now that pizza?"

"Righttttttttttt." CC called the pizza place and ordered a pepperoni pizza.

"You guys, I have something to tell you." Ashley stepped in front of the TV and smiled.

"I'm….." He smiled, "Gay."

"HA. Just fucking with you." Ashley doubled over with laughter.

I walked over to him and hit him with a frying pan, "Don't ever do that again."

"Shit that hurt!"

I laughed and smiled it was good to be feeling better now, but I just wish I knew if Meagan was okay or not.


End file.
